There are not too many things I miss about being single. Mark Johnson makes just about everything in my life better. Yet, as spring rolls around, I find myself feeling unsettled. This time of year is commonly associated with a rebirth of sorts. And for me, back when I was single, it was often associated with break ups.
I would often survive a long, cold winter with someone only to realize that he was not the one and send him packing. It happened with the Boy multiple times. In fact, we broke up a total of four times. Or was it five. I tend to lose track of that one. Looking back on that now, I can't believe I stayed with him that long. When something isn't right, it's not going to get better with time. Lesson learned.
For me, break ups meant two things. First, the breakup haircut. Most of the guys I dated, and probably most of the guys on this planet, preferred long hair. Mine doesn't grow too long, but I can get it down past my shoulders if I really try. Since my hair is so thick it takes twice as much time to blow dry when it gets longer. Every breakup was an excuse to chop 1-2 inches off my hair and start over. I loved that feeling.
The other great part about break ups was the weight loss. At least for me. I guess some people might gain weight after a breakup if they were really sad about it. But mine were most often a relief. It meant I had some free time to get out and exercise, eat healthy and generally get my body into shape before meeting the next guy.
Now that I am happy in my relationship, there is no break up in sight. I am learning to let go of the idea of the breakup haircut. Mark Johnson appreciates my hair however I want to wear it. Last year, we aptly renamed the "breakup haircut" as my "spring haircut." Which I will probably get when I go to see my stylist next week.
But the weight loss is more challenging. Mark Johnson and I love to eat. More specifically, we love to snack. Especially in the evening when we are making our tea before bedtime. A handful of crackers, or pretzels, or trail mix, or a few chocolate covered almonds. Any of those things might cross our lips as we hang out in the kitchen. We also love to try new recipes together. Even with the healthy ones, it seems that portion control is the challenge for us. And then there is Menchies. The frozen yogurt place with all of the great toppings. We love Menchies.
Last year I was able to go on Weight Watchers with some limited success. But I am really struggling this time. I want to lose five pounds before we go on vacation this summer. We are planning a road trip to the Grand Canyon and I want to be able to enjoy the trip, including eating whatever I want. If I lose five pounds before I leave, then I have a buffer. But if I don't, then there is a chance I might come back from that trip needing to lose 10 pounds, which would be even worse.
I am new to this long-term relationship thing. And I am wondering if I can be in a happy relationship and still maintain my happy weight. Or is this extra five pounds simply a finder's fee from the universe for granting me this abundance of happiness?
I once read a book by the actress Betty White where she talked about her approach to weight loss. She said that she weighs herself every day and if she gains a pound then she makes an adjustment to her diet the next day. And she keeps doing that until her weight goes back down again. She said it is easier to lose a pound now than letting it build up and trying to lose 10 pounds later down the road. I have to agree with her. But then again, Betty White is also single.
This week I started up Weight Watchers again. Luckily, Mark Johnson and I also enjoy taking long walks in the evening, which will help to counteract some of our snacking. I am trying to pick out some healthier options for our snacks too. But it is definitely a struggle. Let's hope I can find a way to make it work.