A few nights ago I went with my sister to another singles event sponsored by Match.com. Instead of the typical happy hour, this was one of their activity-based events. The activity of choice was bowling. It seemed like a good way to meet new people in a low pressure atmosphere.
When we arrived it was kind of awkward. There were only four lanes for bowling and about 40 people gathered at the event. We grabbed a drink from the bar and scanned the room to see who we might want to start mixing and mingling with. The age range for the event was 21-47, and we soon discovered that most of the people were hovering at the lower end of the age range.
Before we could change our minds and sneak out the back door, we were approached by the super perky "event coordinator" who invited us to start bowling with about six other people. Eventually a guy came over and introduced himself to me. He seemed normal, and he had salt and pepper hair so I knew he must be somewhere in my age range. We started chatting in between bowling frames.
This guy seemed so interesting. He was Canadian, originally from Toronto, and he still had family scattered throughout Canada. He had lived in Egypt for a year. He knew how to fly a plane. He told stories of weekends spent snowboarding or skiing with various social groups.
The conversation was flowing along smoothly until he asked me "So, do you have any hobbies?"
I was completely caught off guard by his question. I twirled a strand of my hair and smiled back at him for what felt like an eternity as I struggled to come up with the right answer. Does shopping count as a hobby? What about watching TV?
Whatever I ended up saying, it must have been the right thing because he stuck around and kept talking to me. And when it was time to go, he asked for my number.
Meanwhile, the Elevator Guy from work started e-mailing me again over the past few weeks. Things did not work out with his ex-girlfriend and apparently he is back on the market. So every few days he will write me a note just to say hello or ask about my weekend. He even asked if we could go out to lunch sometime, but then he never set a firm date. I have been trying to play it cool, but in spite of everything that happened I still really like him a lot.
During the day, I sit at my work computer patiently waiting for the Elevator Guy to e-mail me. And now I get to sit at home in the evening and wait for this new guy to call or text me. When did I become that girl who is always waiting around for some guy?
I used to have a life. I went to the gym, took yoga classes, went to dinner with my friends and made plans for my next vacation. Now it takes all of my energy just to get through the work day and make it home to the couch to watch my favorite shows. Of course it doesn't help matters that I am living in the midst of a Michigan winter and the temperature is about 13 degrees.
Maybe I am feeling a little lost. I stopped working so many hours and now I am not quite sure how to fill the time. I keep hoping for some external force to enter into my life and define me. But the answer can only come from within. I need to rediscover who I am and focus on becoming the woman I want to be.
And the next time I am talking to any of those guys, I have to remember that I am interesting too. And I do have one hobby. I write a blog.