Tuesday, March 27, 2012

A Challenge

During these past few months since I broke up with the Boy, I have been out searching for something.  I probably haven't found it yet because I am not exactly sure what I am looking for.  But I like to tell myself that I will know it when I find it.

There is a great feature on Match.com called "Who's Viewed Me" that allows you to quickly scan a list of all the people that have looked at your profile.  I like to scroll through there at least once a week to see if anyone interesting pops up.  If I see someone I like, I check out his profile so I will show up in his "Who's Viewed Me."  It is a subtle way to let a guy know you are interested. 

For the past few weeks, I was going back and forth with a guy in the "Who's Viewed Me" search.  I would see that he viewed me, so then I would view him back.  I thought about writing him, but his profile said that he was only 33 years old which seemed a little too young to me.  But then he would view me again, so I would view him back. 

Finally on Saturday, I got a message from him.  It said:  So, you say you are a great kisser.  Is that a self proclamation or have you heard that from others?  If you have heard it from others it has to be from at least three people to become true.  The reason I ask is that I also think I am a good kisser and I can't help but wonder what would happen if we got together.

He may have been a little forward, but I have to say that I was kind of impressed by the 33 Year Old.  That was a pretty gutsy move and anything that relates to kissing usually grabs my attention.  Especially since the Boy was not a particularly good kisser, so it has been a long time since I have had a really good kiss.

Even though he was only 33, I decided to write him back.  It was Sunday morning and I was heading off to work for the day.  I have been extremely busy at work for the past several weeks and even though I love my job, it can be pretty overwhelming at times.  I was in search of a pleasant distraction and maybe a little witty banter.  Based on what he said in his profile, this guy seemed like he could deliver. 

I shot off a quick note that said:  So, out of my entire profile you picked out the line about me being a good kisser.  It is definitely more than just a self proclamation.  Do you also offer references for your kissing skills?

He e-mailed me back within a few hours to explain that he also liked some other things in my profile. And that he figured by bringing up the kissing right away he might get my attention.  He also mentioned that he lived in Dearborn and that he liked to hang out at local bars.  Things were off to a pretty good start. 

That evening when I got home from work, I wrote him back and told him about my favorite local bar called the New Place Lounge and I mentioned that I like to play pool there.  I also asked him a few other questions based on things I had read in his profile. 

He wrote me back and at the end of his message he said this:  It's been awhile since I have been to the New Place Lounge, but I'm always up for beating a woman in pool.

Something about the tone of his message didn't really resonate with me.  I thought it sounded pretty competitive for a guy who was trying to get me to go out with him.  When I used to play pool with My Mr. Big, we would start flirting with each other and pretty soon we would lose track of who was hitting stripes or solids.  Pool was definitely a game, but it was never a competition.

Meanwhile, I headed back to work for another crazy day.  I ended up working until about 8:00 PM and when I got home I figured I would give the 33 Year Old one more chance. 

So I wrote him another message:  Why do you assume that you would beat me in a game of pool?  I have definitely won my share of games against the boys.  Of course, some of them probably let me win, but I am ok with that. I consider it a form of chivalry.

A few minutes later he responded with this:  Because women love a challenge, especially if its against a guy and they have the possibility of winning.  Unless of course you try to flirt your way to a win...

I stared at those words on the screen: Because women love a challenge. At that moment I could not think of anything further from the truth. 

The next morning, I woke up at 7:30 AM and took a shower before my 8:00 AM conference call. I decided to take the call at home and then drive into work afterwards. As I sat on the call, I could feel the tension start to build up in my shoulders. All I could think about was the massive amount of work that was waiting for me when I got into the office later that morning, and how I really just wanted to curl up and go back to sleep. 

Then I thought about the 33 Year Old and what my next move should be.  I couldn't really hold anything against him.  After all, he was just delivering on the witty banter that he thought I was looking for.  And I was tempted by the notion that he probably was a great kisser. 

But the last thing I want right now is to date a guy whose entire game plan is to constantly try and keep me on my toes.  It is exhausting.  And I have enough challenges in my life.


Anonymous said...

There's a fine line between witty and offensive - that last email comes very close to crossing it. Then again, it is especially hard to judge banter via email. Give him a chance, school him in pool, test the kissing skills, and send him home!

Anonymous said...

The younger guys are competitive stemming from either under or overconfidence. Not sure which he is. You have to get to know him to tell. All women appreciate chivalry but do younger guys even know what that is anymore. You should be with someone who would bet you kisses that he could beat you at pool and then let you win. Someone who would make fun of you just to hear your laugh. Someone who could lay on a blanket with you to count the stars. But mostly, someone who would be your best friend and always make you smile.

Cupcake said...

Thanks, if only guys would start reading my blog... Then they would know exactly what I'm looking for!

Anonymous said...

You should be with someone that takes the tension out of your shoulders the moment you see him. (for me, the boys that do that are ages 8 and 3!)